Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Pets and light bulbs

  1. #1
    Commodore of Water Music Lotus80's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Søborg, Denmark
    Posts
    295
    Post Thanks / Like

    Pets and light bulbs

    How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

    1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

    2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

    3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

    4. Rottweiler: Make me.

    5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

    6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

    7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

    8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

    9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

    10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

    11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

    12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

    13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

    14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

    How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

    Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:

    "How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

    ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

  2. #2
    Rear Admiral of O Theatre & the 4 - 1 + a few more Jette's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Fyn/funen, Denmark
    Posts
    558
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Pets and light bulbs

    and still laughing

    Jette

  3. #3
    Commodore of happiness and laughter Christine Callisen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Odense, Denmark
    Posts
    395
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Pets and light bulbs

    Haha - you´re absolutly right!!

    christine

  4. #4
    Captain of Water Music Thomas Dressler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    373
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Pets and light bulbs

    I love this one! (The part about cats is true--we only work for them, they are the ones who own the house!)

    Tom Dressler

  5. #5
    Seaman, Mezzoforte
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    14
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Pets and light bulbs

    This isn't really about lightbulbs, but I just had to share this with everyone.

    The Smartest Dog Ever

    As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."

    Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

    As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.

    The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.

    The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!"

    The owner responds, "Genius, my ass. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •