Musical jokes

[marval]

Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the green room after a concert.

"There's not much room on this page," he said. "What shall I write?"

Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint, "Write your repertoire."



"Did you hear Handel has teamed up with Hinge and Bracket?

They've formed The Doors.

[marval]

A guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, 'I bet £50.00 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play.' The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar.

The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing. The octopus's owner pockets the fifty pounds. The next guy comes up with a trumpet. The octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a fantastic jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty pounds to the octopus's owner.

The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out the back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus,'Now, if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred pounds.'

The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts them up, turns them over, has another look from another angle. Puzzled, the octopus's owner interrupts his pet's concentration,saying, 'What are you messing around for? Hurry up and play it!'

The octopus says, "Play it? Huh? I was still trying to figure out how to take of her pyjamas."

[teddy]

Nice to hear the polite version of that joke Margaret.

teddy

[marval]

It is the only version I know Teddy.

[teddy]

Well I am glad to hear that Margaret

teddy

[marval]

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.

"You have, Your Honour," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."

"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

[marval]

The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front porch.

"Madam," he announced, "I'm the piano tuner."

The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."

The man replied, "I know you didn't, but your neighbours did."