HaHa teddy, I wonder if these jokes will get the chop?
What did one sheep say to the other sheep?
"After ewe"
What is a sheep's favorite newspaper?
"The Wool Street Journal"
What would you get if you crossed a sheep and a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper
Why did the lamb call the police?
He had been fleeced
came out in tins????? omg that would hurt like crazyOriginally Posted by teddy
Yeah, where was that dug up, pull the udder one.
You Know what they say JHC = no pain no gain
teddy
I will have to go on the lam(b)
teddy
A Doctor was visiting a home for the mentally unstable. One room he viewed contained a bath full of water, a bucket, a cup and a teaspoon.
What's this for - he asked.
This to assess the patients - he was told. We ask the new patient to empty the bath and see what happens.
Ah - cries the Doctor - I suppose the ill ones use the cup or the spoon instead of the bucket.
No - replies the assistant - The sane ones pull the plug out. Would you like a room with a view of the park?
lol, good one.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
Every time I think about exercise, I lie down til the thought goes away.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
Stress reducer: Put a bag on your head. Mark it "Closed for remodeling." **caution - leave air holes.
I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
J S Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children, in between he practrised on an old spinster which he kept in the attic
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
Cheers MIKE.
How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?
What do they call a sheep without legs - a ball of wool
An elderly lady whose two cats had died took them to be stuffed. "Would you like them mounted?" inquired the taxidermist.
"Oh no, I don't think so" she replied "Just holding hands will do".
teddy you seem to have an obsession with things getting stuffed
And its life long. I was frightened by an olive as a child.
teddy
You're lucky it was Olive and not Popeye
During a recent password audit at a large company, it was found that a blonde receptionist was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyLondon”
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least eight characters long and include at least one capital.
Very good Marg, a good start to my day lol
Posting Permissions
317Likes
LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Reply With Quote