Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 16

Thread: Ho Ho Ho

  1. #1
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    5,340
    Post Thanks / Like

    Ho Ho Ho

    I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my solicitor, and on her advice (and after $399 in consultation fees and numerous drafts) I wish to say the following:

    Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral, celebration of the season solstice holiday practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

    I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008 but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Australia great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "Australia" in the western hemisphere) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

    By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

    This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting whichever comes first and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher...

    David (with tongue firmly in cheek: please do not misconstrue)
    Last edited by Contratrombone64; Dec-13-2007 at 02:59.

  2. #2
    Seaman, Mezzoforte
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Brisbane Australia
    Posts
    20
    Post Thanks / Like
    Hey, you do know that westfield (shopping malls) santas have been told to stop saying ho ho ho.... as it too closely resembles hoe hoe hoe....and some woman walking by could take great offense by this.. so they are now saying ha ha ha.... (true story!)

    So according to them, you wasted $399 and managed to offend 53% of the population (more women and men in the world) directly in the heading LOL

    call me a sexist pig but the whole PC thing has gone too far!!!!

  3. #3
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    5,340
    Post Thanks / Like
    hawkan - that's hilarious - and yes I agree. Did you read my last sentence in brackets??

  4. #4
    Seaman, Mezzoforte
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Brisbane Australia
    Posts
    20
    Post Thanks / Like
    Yes I did.. so my reply was made in the same vain

  5. #5
    Administrator Krummhorn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Tucson, Arizona
    Posts
    7,959
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    3
    Hi CT,

    I accept your supercalifragilisticexpealadocious season greetings with a broad smile and roaring laughter like you would not believe. Certainly this cannot be offensive to anyone alive or dead. I think you should receive the "Greatest Post of the Year" award.
    Kh ~~.
    Administrator


    Amateur musicians practice until they get it right ...
    Pro
    fessional musicians practice until they can't get it wrong ...


  6. #6
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    5,340
    Post Thanks / Like
    Krummhorn ... supercalifragilisticexpealadocious is a noun, not an adjective, hence: supercalifragilisticexpealadociously is a better word to use in your message above. LOL

    But I'm glad my missive made you laugh ...

  7. #7
    Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler Corno Dolce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Moscow, Russia
    Posts
    10,538
    Post Thanks / Like
    Hi CT,

    You wouldn't just happen to be a lawyer also, or have you been? Your greeting was the subject of much mirth at the party this evening at my house - people were doubled over with laughter - we must have laughed for at least half an hour after reading your *PC* greeting.

    I nominate your *PC* post for the *Post of the Decade Award*.


    Cheers,

    Corno Dolce
    *If a man wants God to hear his prayer quickly, then before he prays for anything else, even his own soul, when he stands and stretches out his hands towards God, he must pray with all his heart for his enemies. Through this action God will hear everything that he asks* -Abba Zeno-

    *Protagoras: "Truth is subjective. What is true for you, and what is true for me, is true for me. Your opinion is true by virtue of its being your opinion."

    *Socrates: "My opinion is: Truth is absolute, not opinion, and that you are in absolute error. Since this is my opinion, then according to your philosophy you must grant that it is true."

    "Improvisational Art": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSxVO3EoCRM

  8. #8
    Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler Corno Dolce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Moscow, Russia
    Posts
    10,538
    Post Thanks / Like
    What did the lascivious potato say to the rutabaga? I-Da-Ho, I-Da-Ho, I-Da-Ho, I-Da-Ho...
    *If a man wants God to hear his prayer quickly, then before he prays for anything else, even his own soul, when he stands and stretches out his hands towards God, he must pray with all his heart for his enemies. Through this action God will hear everything that he asks* -Abba Zeno-

    *Protagoras: "Truth is subjective. What is true for you, and what is true for me, is true for me. Your opinion is true by virtue of its being your opinion."

    *Socrates: "My opinion is: Truth is absolute, not opinion, and that you are in absolute error. Since this is my opinion, then according to your philosophy you must grant that it is true."

    "Improvisational Art": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSxVO3EoCRM

  9. #9
    Administrator Krummhorn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Tucson, Arizona
    Posts
    7,959
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by Contratrombone64 View Post
    . . . supercalifragilisticexpealadociously is a better word to use in your message above. LOL
    Hi CT,

    Good one ... I'll have to remember that for future times ... LOL It is, shall we say, more politically correct ... LOL.
    Kh ~~.
    Administrator


    Amateur musicians practice until they get it right ...
    Pro
    fessional musicians practice until they can't get it wrong ...


  10. #10
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    5,340
    Post Thanks / Like
    No, I'm afriad I can't claim to be a lawyer (attorney), just a cunning linguist.

  11. #11
    Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler Corno Dolce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Moscow, Russia
    Posts
    10,538
    Post Thanks / Like
    Hi CT64,

    Since you're from Australia, I guess that you know the difference between a Solicitor and a Barrister?

    The very word *solicitor* has sometimes some very unbecoming and untoward *associations*

    Cheers,

    Corno Dolce
    *If a man wants God to hear his prayer quickly, then before he prays for anything else, even his own soul, when he stands and stretches out his hands towards God, he must pray with all his heart for his enemies. Through this action God will hear everything that he asks* -Abba Zeno-

    *Protagoras: "Truth is subjective. What is true for you, and what is true for me, is true for me. Your opinion is true by virtue of its being your opinion."

    *Socrates: "My opinion is: Truth is absolute, not opinion, and that you are in absolute error. Since this is my opinion, then according to your philosophy you must grant that it is true."

    "Improvisational Art": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSxVO3EoCRM

  12. #12
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    5,340
    Post Thanks / Like
    yeah - Solicitor is the word used here for "attorney" or "lawyer". It's other use is obvious, though not in the Australian vernacular: for this we say "hooker".

  13. #13
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso methodistgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Madisonville,Ky.42431
    Posts
    4,411
    Post Thanks / Like
    I consider some of touchy stuff a bit stupid. I'm very overweight in
    which I'm obese. I will laugh at a fat joke and laugh with them instead
    of getting hurt over a fat joke. I laugh at my own fat jokes when I
    use them on myself. No I don't do it to put myself down. I do that for
    the fun of it to give me something to laugh at. It shouldn't hurt for us
    to laugh at ourselves. If I was a black person in which I'm not I would
    be telling jokes on myself. I do anyway as a white person. Or a joke
    guys tell to laugh at women. I will still laugh with them. People are just
    a bit too uptight. I'm more relaxed if I can laugh at fat jokes because
    I'm overweight myself.
    judy tooley

  14. #14
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    5,340
    Post Thanks / Like
    Judy - are you anywhere near Columbus, Ohio?

  15. #15
    Lieutenant, Associate Concertmaster
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    76
    Post Thanks / Like
    Season's greetings


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •