the Politically Incorrect Jokes Thread

[Contratrombone64]

Now, it's not my intention to be overtly racist, sexist, ageist, or "any"ist ... but we've got some great jokes threads going and I thought this sounded like a brave venture. So long as we don't make it too offensive?

Bugger!! how do I correct a typo in my title??

:-( x 10

[Krummhorn]

Bugger!! how do I correct a typo in my title??

:-( x 10

Hi CT64,

Corrected.

[Contratrombone64]

And to start off

Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional minority and supported by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

[Corno Dolce]

Yechhh!!! Man, what is it with people who like to fool around with turds? Its like they're stuck in the stages of infancy where the infant plays with their own goo and says *Mmmmmmmm* - Grow up, people...and Get a Life!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Contratrombone64]

Sweet Corn ... you jest, surely? Otherwise you totally missed the point of the quote.

[Corno Dolce]

Dear CT64,

I guess I am so totally stupid

Frankly, it went over my head - I just can't follow along anymore - Its too complex for my two brain-cells which are locked in mortal combat to the death.

Humbly,

CD

[Contratrombone64]

LOL - in mortal combat with death, oh dear!!

[Corno Dolce]

CT64,

Yeah - its a frightful thing alright. You'd think that a guy like me who dots his *I's*, crosses his *T's*, and gets *A's* in his Master's program would be spared having difficulty comprehending the latest in the political discourse of the day.......I confess, I'm mortified
Ok, now I'm going to see some friends to have a snifter of Single Malt Scotch.

Humbly,

CD

[Contratrombone64]

A snifter, hmmm, such a deliciously indefinable quantity, eh?

[Corno Dolce]

Yes sir A really*Hick* undef*Hick*inable*Hick*quantity*Hick*
Pardon me, I've really gotten too inebriated for my own good. My Lady and I are staying over at a friends house to sleep off the effects of one too many. As the FAA rule states: 12 hours from bottle to throttle.

[methodistgirl]

That was so funny!
judy tooley

[Mat]

Let's get back to the topic, shall we?



How the Bush Administration Changes a Light Bulb

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;

8. One to viciously smear #7;

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;

10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

[marval]

I like it Mat

Very good.


Margaret

[marval]

Politically Incorrect

1. Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

2. What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

3. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.

4. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

5. Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

6. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

7. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

8. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

9. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

10. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

11. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

12. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

13. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

14. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

15. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

[Mat]

Thank you, Margaret. Here's another one.


Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven,
and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first.

"Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used,
the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."

God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"
Bill replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things
and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."

God then address Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?"
"I believe you're in my chair."