What happened to Discipline?

[C5Says]

We come back to the question, which comes first: reality depicted by Hollywood or Hollywood mimicked by reality?

There are 6 of us siblings and we all attended church since infancy. During toddler years we were trained to stay quiet during church services. A little noise that reaches the ears of our mom sitting nearby will automatically make her fingers snap as a warning for us to stay quiet. It worked! We were not spared the rod. We were trained in the days of our youth so when we grow old we will not depart from it. Aren't those foolproof proverbs? Now, my husband, wanting to beat my mom's system, would joke that if it took my mom just a snap of her fingers to make her kids quiet, it only took his stare.

I think it's too much TV, movies and internet that's causing much of the problem. Both parents away for work without any to guide the kids at home. My eldest was 4 months when I resigned even though I had the bigger income. I didn't want my mom to be overburndened by taking care of my kid. During her time she was a superwoman and no kid of hers can say that it can't be done because she did it during her time. The issue is moral standards...how are we taking it? The world as a whole is failing.

[methodistgirl]

You are so right! I was raised that way too.
judy tooley

[sunwaiter]

i think tv, internet or whatever media you can think of has nothing to do with how kids are today.

i assume that tv can be an influence concerning vulgarisation of violence for very young children, for example, but what matters first is what parents do. i've grown in a project inhabited with about 90 percent of maghreb migrants' children. many people point these people as crooks and encourage racism because they don't want to know the real causes. and the young is always the easiest target, even when they were born in france. remember that I grew up in the same place than them. i lived in the same tenement than my best friend B., whose family is from algeria. he never caused any problem, he was very good at school, actually way better than me. We watched exactly the same tv programs, we learned the same dirty words, we looked at the same girls, we met the same not too recommendable people, and still we were quiet little boys. he didn't even have his mother home.

some other parents in the neighbourhood did not watch carefully over their children, sometimes it was a real shame. i did saw unbearable things made by children of my age, but who seemed as vicious as grown up criminals. it was NOT tv, it was their parents who let them do.

i'm currently helping two children, at my modest scale, with french lessons, and since i've been around for a long time now, i can tell that their parents are quite lost. i mean, they're gentle people, and the kids are cute, but they just don't know what to do, which direciton to go, which sanction for wich misbehaviour, yelling or slapping, etc...

actually every parents find it difficult to raise a child, but some have more trouble than others. my parents were tough at times, and very patient at other times. i saw torture, killing, humiliation, hardcore se x, all sorts of things i woul never do myself, on tv, on computers, on dvds, at the movies, and i'm proud to say i never hit anyone, never lacked respect for any woman nor robbed anyone either.

[Dorsetmike]

My grandfather was a prison warder for over 20 years in the early 1900s, he was a well built man, one of his duties was to administer floggings with the birch; he said nobody came back for a second dose.

Detentions in school don't hurt, the cane did; "sanctions" are useless, stay in their room with no TV or playstation - OK they'll go to sleep. Paddle their backside good, they migh listen next time.

Cheers MIKE

[marval]

Hi Mike,

I agree if you give someone a good caning, they will remember it well. Detention or deprivation have no lasting effect at all.

Punishment should be harsh as a deterrent, we should make sure that they will not want to came back for more. And also hopefully they will spread the word that misbehaving is not worth it, because the punishment is much worse.


Margaret

[Robert Newman]

I completely agree with Margaret and Dorsetmike on this one.

[methodistgirl]

Talking about no discipline, Look at this video.YouTube - I'M 15 AND I'VE SLEPT WITH MEN OVER 300 TIMES!
I know what would have happened when I was her age. My parents
were strict. You can't discipline this generation. I was amazed at
others my age when I was a kid. Thanks to Dr. Spock's books you
can't touch a kid now days. I would have gotten the belt when
I was fifteen.
judy tooley

[Krummhorn]

. . . I would have gotten the belt when
I was fifteen. judy tooley

I did get the belt in my youth years ... I feel now that the pain was worse for my Dad than it was for me. I'm probably a better person for having being disciplined in the manner of which was acceptable in those years past.

Those were good old fashioned value days - once we got the belt, we never ever stepped out of bounds on that issue again. Now, we can barely tap them on the shoulder and kindly say "no-no ... please don't to that!" If parents today do anything else, the child simply has to call 911 and the parent is immediately arrested and put in jail. That's wrong - completely wrong - IMHO.

Some of the rowdies of today know that they can't be punished for any wrong-doings, so there is virtually no way to stop them from being spoiled little brats. I think I had more respect for my Dad after the punishment, which would include going without dinner sometimes ... and the interesting thing is that I lived through it all ... I wasn't psychologically affected by the punishment nor was I physically harmed in any way. I was simply taught a lesson via the "pain management" method and I think I'm a better person today because of this.

Punishment is one thing ... child abuse is another ... they are two different things, imho. When I was punished, my rear end was sore and I couldn't sit down for a couple hours ... that wasn't abuse ... it was a punishment - something that I all too remembered and thought about twice if I was ever tempted to do the same wrong, which I never did.

[SilverLuna]

Now I'm 13 years old but i seriously do agree with you.

When i went to middle school last year, the kids were so unbeleiveable!! "*bleep* THIS and *bleep* THAT" UGH it was sooooo annoying!! >> People thought I was crazy not having a boyfriend! Gosh!! What do you expect guys?! I'm 12 years old!! (well at that time)

Oh and YOUTUBE.... goodness >> Can't there be a rule of no obscene ot sexual/foul language? Anyone, even little kids, can get on there and find something that can crush thier innocence.
My parents know all about this kind of stuff, so they'll never let me get an account.

[jhnbrbr]

When i went to middle school last year, the kids were so unbeleiveable!! "*bleep* THIS and *bleep* THAT" UGH it was sooooo annoying!! >> .

Believe it or not, Silver, things were much the same when i started secondary school about 42 years ago. There was some pretty appalling behaviour at times, even though our headmaster was an enthusiastic user of the cane! Amost all children experienced corporal punishment in some form back then. I'm sure my behaviour was well above average, but I was smacked many times and occasionally punished with a slipper. It was just accepted as a normal part of life - probably less traumatic than going to the dentist. In our family, it fell to our mother to be the strict one, our father was far too soft-hearted to punish us. His only contribution to discipline was to have very large feet -there was always a size 12 slipper available when needed!

[Krummhorn]

Hi jhnbrbr,

In our household, it was Dad who administered the deed ... I can still distinctly remember Mom's voice saying in a stern manner "Wait until your father gets home!" I knew right then that I was in big trouble and then had to wait the entire day stewing about it until he got home from work.

Dad would come in the door, and Mom would say to him: "Earl, YOUR son did ... ... ". Then I would hear my full baptismal name being called, and then the sound of his 4 inch wide belt being pulled rapidly from his pants. It was always three slaps with the doubled over wide belt on the rear over his knee ... no more, no less ...

Oddly enough, my sister (who is 5 years older) never got into trouble ... hmm ... .

[methodistgirl]

I know one thing. If I even gave my mother any trouble she would
tear me up. I can't believe some of these teenaged girls today
calling their mother the B word. I know I would have gotten myself
jack slapped for doing it on the jaw. I like you Krummhorn, there is
a difference in discipline and child abuse. I remember to this day
and probably will until I die. I was told to stay out of the road when
I rode my bike down the sidewalk. One day I accidently got a little
too close to the road and mother really laid it on me with a switch
leaving marks on my legs. Believe me those marks healed but the
idea I got it tought me a lesson. Now days I'm still real careful to
cross the street. Because traffic can be dangerious when there
are cars and trucks around. Those marks also saved my life or
I wouldn't be here chatting with you.
judy tooley

[Sylvie Pacey]

Poor role models, and over exposure to the gratuitous violence now shown
regularly on T.V, reality shows where anything goes (Thank goodness Big Brother is being axed) Lack of basic skills such as reading and writing coherently. All these things don't help our youngsters to find a balance in life. No matter how rich a family is in financial terms, if it is poor in education and parental example the children will suffer. Exposing young children to verbal and physical abuse will not help them to understand how to express themselves in meaningful ways. You only have to read so many of the comments on you tube etc. to see how debased our beautiful language has become. But there is hope for the younger generation, just read Hub pages , Bekka 123. This is a young friend of mine who had a severe stroke at the age of seven and has battled her way through to the age of 17, developing a wonderful philosophy. Her physical disability denies her the career she wanted but she is writing all sorts of inspirational things on her hub page and trying to raise awareness of the prevalence of strokes in juveniles. I am so proud of her for facing and overcoming the many difficulties she has had to face. If you can access her hub I know it will touch you. She loves her music and writes songs as well!! Sylvie

[Jess Chen]

I never play video games and I never say bad words.

[methodistgirl]

I have a new video. This is what happens when there isn't a father
at home. This teen aged boy beat up his mother. Her it is.
YouTube - Mom Beat By Son Over French Fries
judy tooley