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Thread: On line v off line friendships?

  1. #1
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    On line v off line friendships?

    How do you rate people you "meet" on line compared to those you meet face to face, acquaintances, friends, good friends, best friends? I'm talking general terms, not specific persons

    I think that the level of "interaction" (for want of a better word) on line can make a difference; here on a forum I would suggest that at this level you would not get beyond acquaintances.

    Going to the next level using text on instant messengers we go above acquaintance to something approaching friend, but, because we are still only using text, we can not form opinions as easily as we can by hearing a voice or seeing a facial expression thus we can not usually get much further. (Think of people on line taking offence at something written with tongue in cheek humour which would otherwise be obvious from tone of voice or facial expression)

    Adding voice and possibly video to IMs we get closer interaction either bringing us into friend status, or putting us off, in much the same way as meeting face to face.

    However I can only think of two that I got on with on a forum or IM text that did not progress beyond acquaintance after voice IMs or face to face meeting.
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  2. #2
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    That is a tough one Mike, I can see what you are saying. I believe that chatting on a forum you don't really know the people, but you take them on trust. I have found that I don't have any preconceptions of people here, I like to think of them as friends, even though I know very little about them. Also I would probably not say some things that I might do if I was talking to a friend face on.

    I think if you can see someone to talk to it does give it that more friendly feeling, expressions can also tell a lot.


    Margaret

  3. #3
    Chief assistant to the assistant chief JHC's Avatar
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    Perhaps a live talk thread with Skype ??

  4. #4
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    I have Skype on most days from about 10 am to midnight UK time, sometimes break for meals. If one of my contacts comes on line I get a pop up flag , can use text, voice or video, it's free to install & use with others on line, only costs if you talk with somebody who is on a phone at the other end, you can talk to at least 5 others in conference, more if you only use text, video is only 1:1 though due to bandwidth limitations. Plus you can send files, no limit on file sizes except time and that depends on your internet connection speed, friend of mine sends flight simulator scenery files to other FS nuts up to 300 Mb and more, and keeps chatting at the same time.

    Main problem trying to arrange a get together with a large worldwide forum like this is time, it's late evening here, very late in Europe, morning down under afternoon/evening in the Americas. I have been in a multiway converstion with 3 in UK, 1 in Australia and 1 in Toronto; time here was usually somewhere between 9 and 11pm, it worked quite well.

    I see Colin is on line by the green blob bottom left of his post, but has not got Skype on.
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  5. #5
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Mat's Avatar
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    I have been using Skype for over two years now. Used the conference mode several times since then with a bunch of my friends; very nice feature. One time I was checking out the "Skype me" mode and that's how I met an online "friend". I've never spoken to people more than from one country, though. This could be an interesting experience, I think.

    As for Mike's question, I'd say a person met online could go just as far as an acquaintance or a friend (but not the best one) and not much further. I still prefer a real life when it comes to true friendship.
    Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.
    -- Victor Hugo


  6. #6
    Chief assistant to the assistant chief JHC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dorsetmike View Post
    I

    I see Colin is on line by the green blob bottom left of his post, but has not got Skype on.
    Mike due to my recent spell with the bone crushers I can't get on my main computer so have resurrected my old lap top. I still have to install some programmes but should be up and running soon.

  7. #7
    Commander, Assistant Conductor Strunch's Avatar
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    I try not to rate online personas too much, although it can be difficult to not do that.. I have met a few people from this forum in real life, and apart from that; about 50-100 people from other online communities.. In my experience, then you can't:

    • Rate people on the amount of smileys they use
    • Rate people on their speeelling
    • Rate people on their online activity
    • Rate people on their occupation
    • Rate people on their avatar

    Nice people can be very harsh online, and vice versa, so I try not to judge people too much before I have met them face-2-face. You're all as neutral as possible to me

  8. #8
    Duckmeister teddy's Avatar
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    As I am constantly warning my daughter texting, by whatever method, is a little soul less. Without the inflection of the voice, or being able to see their eyes or read their body language you have to accept the printed word at face value. I enjoy this forum but would rather meet the members face to face. However if they saw my face they might not agree.

    teddy

  9. #9
    Chief assistant to the assistant chief JHC's Avatar
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    Why not have a Skype forum say once a week at an agreed time, chaired of course by Mike

  10. #10
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    OK, anybody who wants to try and join in reply on this thread so we can get some idea of numbers and also add what time suits best. Alternatively send me a PM with your Skype ID, best not to post IDs in this thread, it's not a good idea to have details like that on an open forum, spammers and other nutters. I can then send a Skype contact request.

    State if you use voice or text only. Headphones with a boom microphone are best for voice comms, if you have speakers on you somtimes get feedback or you hear your voice come back via the other person's speakers.
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  11. #11
    Chief assistant to the assistant chief JHC's Avatar
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    Mike I will be for it, you know my Skype ID, best for me say 10am to 3pm NZ time
    for those that don" know or use Skype it may help to give a run down on what it can do, all those lovely free phone calls for starters

  12. #12
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Skype is a free download

    http://www.skype.com

    It does most if not all of the things MSN messenger, ICQ and other instant messaging aplications, it just does them better.

    Basic use is instant text messages, then voice communication and video comunication. Video is only available 1:1 due to bandwidth considerations, but voice is Ok with more, up to 5 is good, above that if 2 or more people try to talk at once it can sound garbled to the others!

    You can also send files, like pictures, only limitation for that is the upload speed of the sender, but you can continue talking while the file transfers.

    As Colin says it's like being able to make free phone calls to anywhere in the world.

    You can continue to do other things while Skype is in use I play cribbage with a friend on line 2 or 3 times a week and chat with my opponent as though we are sat a a table playing.

    I have Skype start when I power up the PC, when any of my contacts log in to or out of Skype I get a flag and a ping. If they send a message or initiate a voice call I get flashing flags and sounds
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  13. #13
    Duckmeister teddy's Avatar
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    Would love to join in but am only currently investigating the use of Skype. I was always a slow staeter.

    teddy

  14. #14
    Administrator Krummhorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dorsetmike View Post
    OK, anybody who wants to try and join in reply on this thread so we can get some idea of numbers and also add what time suits best. Alternatively send me a PM with your Skype ID, best not to post IDs in this thread, it's not a good idea to have details like that on an open forum, spammers and other nutters. I can then send a Skype contact request.

    State if you use voice or text only. Headphones with a boom microphone are best for voice comms, if you have speakers on you somtimes get feedback or you hear your voice come back via the other person's speakers.
    Mike,

    Ok, I'm in to trying this ... have sent you a PM with my info. Not decided yet on using voice or text - I don't yet have a headset with a boom mic, but will add one if this works out.

    I don't keep regular "office hours" here on MIMF, so my online times here will be quite sporadic ... Later on I might add the Skype contact icon to my profile. I do worry some about how much information is given out on an internet source such as this, but hey, why not? Bill Gates probably knows more about me now than my mother ever knew.

    This might be fun too ... I've only met a couple people in person here myself ... one is a new member who joined a few weeks back who is also a very prominent organist in the same city.
    Kh ~~.
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  15. #15
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Lars, headphones and boom mic are not essential, just more convenient. If using speakers and a desk mic, you may need to experiment with position of the mic and volume settings to avoid feedback.
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

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