Signs of old age

[Dorsetmike]

Me get up and go got up and went

Me doodads are now don'tdads

Me gonads are stopnads

I don't need to be drunk to fall over

What was I ... ... er ... ... um ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... oh never mind!

 

[marval]

Good ones Mike, here are some more.

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

You can live without sex but not without glasses.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You are proud of your lawn mower.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?”

You have a dream about prunes.

You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"

The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You can go bowling without drinking.

You have a party and the neighbours don't even realize.

People send you this list.

 

[White Knight]

Signs of Old Age

@ :grin: Mike and Marval, great stuff indeed. Thanks. I am still laughing quite loudly after reading your posts. :lol: What makes it all so sad--and funny at the same time--is just how true and accurate those descriptions are! :banghead:

 

[JHC]

Margaret, you have made my day :grin: I'm not as old as I thought
seriously you have to exercise and keep pushing your self, if you don't then you may as well give up, a tip that was given out over our steam radio the other day was 'a good way to avoid Alzheimer's is to learn another language' so I'm going to have a go at English (Joke)

 

[teddy]

Additions

The policemen seem too young to be out alone
You tell children how Mars Bars used to be two foot long and cost 6d
You can remember when men wore gloves as a norm
Ditto women wearing stockings
Your first phone number was 22

teddy

 

[Dorsetmike]

Our first phone didn't have a dial, you picked up and waited for the operator to answer and connect your call.

 

[marval]

Glad that you folks like them, here are a few more.


A fortune teller offers to read your face.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.

When you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes. ​

You have seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
​

There are four stages of life.​

1. You believe in Santa Claus​

2. You don't believe in Santa Claus

3. You are Santa Claus

4. You look like Santa Claus

 

[methodistgirl]

My teeth are getting bad and snaggled, my hair is turning gray,
and AARP keeps sending me mail to join them.
judy tooley

 

[marval]

Don't worry Judy, I started going gray a long time ago.

I don't know who the AARP are, I will have to look them up.

My Dad was the head of a school, he said he began to feel old when pupils he had taught brought their children to join the school.


Margaret

 

[Buchpteclare]

And when the teachers look about the same age as the kids....

And when some kids in the store ask mommy if you are Santa... (Yikes).

And the noisiest thing about you is your bones creaking...

And .. O heck, I forget! :smirk: (Very convenient at times).

 

[Chi_townPhilly]

Your first phone number was 22

Here in the USA, our seven-digit local phone numbers used to have as their first two digits an alphabetical-geographic "place-location" indicator abbreviation. Probably the most famous example of that embedded into art is the Glenn Miller rendition of "PennsylvaniA 6-5000." Americans who are old enough to remember their "place-location" exchanges are likely old enough to be AARP-eligible.

 

[JHC]

We just cranked the handle and asked for Mrs Doo Daa or Long distance

 

[teddy]

Although we had a number we had to go through the exchange. Quite often in our little Welsh village we would be told that we could not be connected as " Mrs Jones has gone to see her sister in Towyn" for example. The exchange could be a good source of information.

teddy

 

[JHC]

A number of what ? connections, Up early teddy?

Night night

 

[teddy]

Colin
It is 10.30 am here and I am in the office, skiving over a cup of tea.

teddy

 

[Dorsetmike]

I suspect what Teddy means is that in a small rural community way back when, you had a phone number allocated, but in such a close knit, Welsh, community you asked the operator for Jones the milk, Jones the bread, Myfanwy or Daffydd.

 

[teddy]

Spot on Mike. So many people shared a common surname that you had to add their occupation or address. My neighbour was known as Jones Vanner, Vanner being the name of their house.

teddy

 

[Corno Dolce]

Here in the USA, our seven-digit local phone numbers used to have as their first two digits an alphabetical-geographic "place-location" indicator abbreviation. Probably the most famous example of that embedded into art is the Glenn Miller rendition of "PennsylvaniA 6-5000." Americans who are old enough to remember their "place-location" exchanges are likely old enough to be AARP-eligible.

I remember "place-location" exchanges, but I am not in the AARP-AARP-AARP(like and old dog)category by a long shot.......:lol::lol::lol:

 

[GoneBaroque]

I don't know who the AARP are, I will have to look them up.
Margaret

Margeret

AARP is The American Associatio of Retired People, an organization whose stated goal is political action to help the "elderly"..They are in my opinion a giant insurance company. One must be at least 50 to join. That is elderly? I belonged for a time but quit. Did not like their politics.

Rob

 

[teddy]

Ah. Thats what we call The Old F***s Club over here

teddy