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Thread: Musical jokes

  1. #151
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Yes, I liked it too Vicki.

  2. #152
    Rear Admiral Appassionata Muza's Avatar
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    Margaret, those last 2 are great!!! I am passing those on!
    Why waste money on psychotherapy when you can listen to the B Minor Mass? ~Michael Torke

  3. #153
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    So the new conductor addresses the orchestra. He tells them that things are going to change, that everyone will be expected to be on time and that they will work for many long hours.

    The timpanist,expressing his displeasure at the turn of events, belts out on the drums BOOM-BOOM- BOOM-BOOM. The conductor, whirling around furiously, says, "Alright, who did that?!"

  4. #154
    Commodore con Forza Tûrwethiel's Avatar
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    Gosh, you've reminded me of the time I had a conductor who used a highlighting pen to help him work out which instruments came in when. In The Four Seasons, for goodness sake!

    Cheers

    Vicki

  5. #155
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Oh dear Vicki, not what you expect a conductor to need to do.


    A country lad on one of his rare visits to the market town saw a music stool in the window of a shop. He went in, bought it, and took it home. Two weeks later he was back in the shop in a furious rage. "I been sitting on this darn stool for two weeks," he told the manager, "and I ain't got a note out of it.



    Did you hear about the musical ghost?
    He wrote haunting melodies.

  6. #156
    Commodore con Forza
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    Just been enjoying this thread! Here are a few more...

    Sign in front of busker: A 50p donation secures a 5 minute intermission.

    Small boy after playing violin for his parents' dinner guests: "Why don't you have a go Mr Jones? My Dad says you're always on the fiddle."

    A well known conductor on being asked whether he'd ever conducted any Stockhausen: "No, but I once trod in some!"

    Beneath the sign on the music library shelf saying "Bach's Organ Works" someone had written "So does mine!"

    True story - conversation overheard after organ improvisation: "That's the trouble with these 'ere extemporisations - when you've heard one, you've heard 'em all!"
    Last edited by jhnbrbr; Feb-18-2009 at 20:27.

  7. #157
    Commander, Assistant Conductor mathetes1963's Avatar
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    Sign on the door of a local community college's music library:

    "BACH IN A FUGUE MINUETS"
    “The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul.”
    -Johann Sebastian Bach, 1685-1750

    "It Don't Mean A Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing."
    -Duke Ellington, 1899-1974

  8. #158
    Commodore con Forza Tûrwethiel's Avatar
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    Love it!

  9. #159
    Commodore con Forza
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    I know a man who can't play the piano loud - playing quietly is his forte.

  10. #160
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Some good jokes there folks.



    Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den.
    The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For pity's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"

  11. #161
    Commodore con Forza
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    Nice one Margaret.

    PS, it's good to see you back again!

  12. #162
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Thank you, glad you liked it and it is good to be back.


    Margaret

  13. #163
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Jeremy walked into a shop, which sold musical instruments and bought a very expensive mouth organ.

    As the shopkeeper wrapped up the instrument he said, 'You know is this is quite amazing. We normally don't sell many mouth organs, but this is the second one I've sold today.'

    'Oh,' remarked Jeremy, 'that must have been our Monica'

  14. #164
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Can you sing tenor?

    Yep!

    Like tenor fifteen miles away?
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  15. #165
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Like it Mike, good one.

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