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Thread: Musical jokes

  1. #91
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    What do you call a short drummer with good rhythm?
    A metro gnome.

  2. #92
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
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    Margaret - that is absolutely hilarious!!

  3. #93
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso methodistgirl's Avatar
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    That was funny.
    judy tooley

  4. #94
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
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    Billy - "Mum! - when I grows up I wanna be a drummer"
    Mum - "Billy, you realise you can't do both?"

  5. #95
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
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    What do you call a stunningly beautiful woman on the arm of a drummer?

    His tattoo

  6. #96
    Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler Corno Dolce's Avatar
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    What do you call Fiddler Crabs?

    Ans: Grumpy String Players
    *If a man wants God to hear his prayer quickly, then before he prays for anything else, even his own soul, when he stands and stretches out his hands towards God, he must pray with all his heart for his enemies. Through this action God will hear everything that he asks* -Abba Zeno-

    *Protagoras: "Truth is subjective. What is true for you, and what is true for me, is true for me. Your opinion is true by virtue of its being your opinion."

    *Socrates: "My opinion is: Truth is absolute, not opinion, and that you are in absolute error. Since this is my opinion, then according to your philosophy you must grant that it is true."

    "Improvisational Art": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSxVO3EoCRM

  7. #97
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso methodistgirl's Avatar
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    Now that was really funny!
    judy tooley

  8. #98
    Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.) intet_at_tabe's Avatar
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    There's this guy who has been stranded on a deserted island, all alone for 10 years. One day he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft."

    Then, out of the surf comes a gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?", "Ten years!" he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, Man, oh man! Is that good!

    Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a nice cold beer?" He replies, "Oh, God, it's been at least 10 years!" She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a dry ice pack from around an ice cold beer, hands it to him and watches as he take a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"

    Then she starts unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?" ,the man replies, "Good God, woman!, don't tell me you've got a Trombone in there!".
    Best regards,
    intet_at_tabe

  9. #99
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    There are some really funny jokes here.


    Margaret

  10. #100
    Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.) intet_at_tabe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marval View Post



    There are some really funny jokes here.


    Margaret
    You guys are so funny




    It could have been me, age 2-3
    Best regards,
    intet_at_tabe

  11. #101
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    HaHa

    That gives a whole new meaning to "I am just going to the toilet."


    Margaret

  12. #102
    Captain of Water Music Hawk Henries's Avatar
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    Then she starts unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?" ,the man replies, "Good God, woman!, don't tell me you've got a Trombone in there!".


    intet-at-tabe that was great!!
    I wish You Peace
    Hawk

  13. #103
    Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.) intet_at_tabe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawk Henries View Post
    intet-at-tabe that was great!!
    Thank you sir Hawk! Most women are very resourceful, you know.

    We miss you at the poems thread.
    Last edited by intet_at_tabe; Jun-26-2008 at 11:24.
    Best regards,
    intet_at_tabe

  14. #104
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    One day the musicians for a rather large recording session were assembling at a studio. Everyone had their headphones on, the session was close to getting underway and the producer of the session came over the talkback system and said

    "Okay I need to have total silence! Just then the drummer on the session played a big Barumdum Crash!

    To which the record producer replied, "Okay who did that?"

  15. #105
    Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.) intet_at_tabe's Avatar
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    There was a boy in kindergarten who played the viola. One day, he came home and said, "Mommy, today we practiced counting! I got all the way up to 10, but most of the kids messed up around 6 or 7!!!" and his mom said, "Good, that's because you're a violist."

    The next day he came home and said, "Mommy, today we practiced the alphabet! I got all the way to the end, but most of the kids got messed up around "s" or "t"!" and his mom said, "Good, that's because you're a violist."

    The next day, he came home and said "Mommy, guess what, they measured us today and I'm the tallest person in the whole class!!! Is that because I'm a violist, too?" and his mom said, "No, dear, that's because you're 25 years old."
    Best regards,
    intet_at_tabe

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