Reactions to Syrian situation according to John Cleese

Dorsetmike

Member
Attributed to John Cleese

"The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.
 

JHC

Chief assistant to the assistant chief
No Mike really let em sort it out themselves Al qaeda are backing the so called rebels why start ww3, the USA should stay at home.
 

Corno Dolce

Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
Letting the "crazies" sort it out themselves is not an option...Why??? Because there will be horrific "collateral damage"...Do we all REALLY want to see images of babies mutilated by bio/chem weapons? I didn't think so...Then again, I didn't vote for the "usurper-in-chief" residing at 1400 Pennsylvania Ave. - And I don't support that venal creature..
 
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JHC

Chief assistant to the assistant chief
Collateral damage happens in war look at WW2, London Coventry Dresden Berlin etc, babies mutilated by bio/chem as opposed to what? napalm, drones, carpet bombing or even nuclear. Civil wars happen keep them civil.
 

Corno Dolce

Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
Collateral damage happens in war look at WW2, London Coventry Dresden Berlin etc, babies mutilated by bio/chem as opposed to what? napalm, drones, carpet bombing or even nuclear. Civil wars happen keep them civil.

Civil war is the result of the world community saying: "we don't care...its not in our backyard". Its as bad as neville chamberlain and his "peace in our time" foible.
 

JHC

Chief assistant to the assistant chief
Civil war is the result of the world community saying: "we don't care...its not in our backyard"

I humbly beg to differ CD, Civil war is an internal conflict usually of ideology, religion or plain bloody mindedness and as such should IMO be kept internal or you risk an almost certain escalation into a much wider conflict.
I remember as a child hearing a discussion between adults during which someone said the next world war will start in the middle east although I did not understand at the time I never forgot and now see how very true that could be. The only people to benefit out of these internal conflicts are weapon manufacturers and heaven knows we do not need another war.
 

teddy

Duckmeister
We need to be absolutely sure Who is using chemical weapons before we blunder in and maybe kill even more children. Once it is established, WITHOUT ANY DOUBT, then we can decide on a course of action. Most British people do not want us involved and quite understandably . There are plenty of incidents where we should have got involved concerning Africa, but of course they do not appear to have any oil. Even America has now agreed to wait and see.

teddy
 

Corno Dolce

Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
I humbly beg to differ CD, Civil war is an internal conflict usually of ideology, religion or plain bloody mindedness and as such should IMO be kept internal or you risk an almost certain escalation into a much wider conflict.
I remember as a child hearing a discussion between adults during which someone said the next world war will start in the middle east although I did not understand at the time I never forgot and now see how very true that could be. The only people to benefit out of these internal conflicts are weapon manufacturers and heaven knows we do not need another war.

I respect your viewpoint but a tyrant grows more tyrannical when good men do nothing about it - And Syria has its own in-home weapons industries...
 
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JHC

Chief assistant to the assistant chief
I respect your viewpoint but a tyrant grows more tyrannical when good men do nothing about it - And Syria has its own in-home weapons industries...

And I respect yours my dear sir in fact I consider you to be a first rate gentleman of the first order:tiphat::tiphat::wave::tiphat::tiphat:
 

Corno Dolce

Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
And I respect yours my dear sir in fact I consider you to be a first rate gentleman of the first order:tiphat::tiphat::wave::tiphat::tiphat:

Brother Colin,

Thank you so very much for according me such high praise...Trouble is, is that I'm so very rarely worthy of such praise, especially since I have cemeteries full of skeletons in my closet. Anyway, you and all the mates on this fine forum are worth more than all the precious stones and metals to be found on/in this earth.

What to do about bashar al-assad? Lure the snake out of the hole and then........
 
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