Private Thread - Keep Out!

marval

New member
Two sugars please Mike.

Yes they are similar Rojo, so that's what is is called John, breathing through one's bottom.


Four year-old Sarah asked this question from the back of the car: "Mummy, why are there more idiots on the road when daddy's driving?"


Margaret
 

Dorsetmike

Member
Overheard Nº2

Chesil beach is a long steep shingle bank on the Dorset coast. A mother and child walked past whilst I was drowning worms (fishing) about noon, the tide was low, they passed again a few hours later when the tide was high, the child said

"Ooh look mummy, someone's filled it up"
 

marval

New member
Overheard No3

A man overheard in a supermarket.
Do any of these Taste the Difference Brandy Rich Mince Pies come without brandy?
 

jhnbrbr

New member
Did you ever notice how similar the notes of the melody in the opening bars of What a Wonderful World are to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? Just take away the first two notes, and...

I hadn't noticed, but it's obvious when you've been told. Presumably it must have happened by accident or subconsciously - how can a composer ever be entirely sure whether their tune is original or not? I remember doing music appreciation lessons as a sixth former, and one week the teacher set us the task of composing an original tune. My best friend was really proud of what he came up with, until I pointed out to him that he'd just "composed" the German national anthem! :(
 

jhnbrbr

New member
Important posting guidelines -please read !!

You don't have to be mad to post here ... No, on second thoughts ...
 

Soubasse

New member
You don't have to be mad to post here ... No, on second thoughts ...

I prefer this permutation: You don't have to post to be mad here.

[...] Presumably it must have happened by accident or subconsciously - how can a composer ever be entirely sure whether their tune is original or not?
Too true, I recently had to burst a student's bubble when he'd proudly presented his composition, but upon listening to it for about 12 bars, I had to reveal to him that he'd written a minor key version of Frere Jacques. I then played him the 3rd Mvt of Mahler's 1st as proof.
 
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jhnbrbr

New member
I wonder if anyone has come up with a precise way of measuring how much tune B differs from tune A and giving you a simple answer, eg 20%. Maybe there's a branch of mathematics for such things? Any mathematicians on MIMF? Otherwise it's extremely subjective where you draw the line between what is a variation and what is something new.
 

jhnbrbr

New member
Gifts which can save a marriage

For your wife: flowers, perfume, jewellery, shoes, underwear, visit to a spa

For your husband: a shed.
 

marval

New member
Secrets to a happy marriage from a male point of view.


1. It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans

2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money

3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex

4. It is important that these three women never meet.
 

Dorsetmike

Member
Which of these are you Margaret, I do have a couple of vacancies
whistling.gif
 

marval

New member
Oh dear Mike, I am not sure I should admit to which one I am. If I was a liar I would say all of them.
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Ten Rules for a Happy Marriage.

  1. The woman always makes the rules
  2. These rules are subject to change without notice
  3. No man can possibly know all the rules
  4. The woman is never wrong
  5. If it appears the woman is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the man did or said
  6. The man must apologise immediately for causing the misunderstanding
  7. The woman can change her mind at any time
  8. The man must never change his mind without the proper consent of the woman
  9. The man must read the mind of the woman at all times
  10. At all times, what is important is what the woman meant, not what she said.
 

jhnbrbr

New member
It's usually at the wedding when things start to go wrong with a marriage. Have you ever come across this scenario at the wedding rehearsal ...

Vicar: It was at this point that the bride used to promise to obey, but we usually omit it these days
Bride: Oh really? Well I don't mind saying it.
Groom: Oh no, sweetheart. That's so old-fashioned.
Bride: Well I like it. Let's leave it in.
Groom: No really, darling. I don't want you to obey me! I want our marriage to be an equal partnership.
Bride: WILL YOU STOP ARGUING!! I'M GOING TO PROMISE TO OBEY YOU AND THAT'S THE END OF THE MATTER !!
 

marval

New member
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Nodding.gif
Good one John, I refused to say obey.

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.


Who chose this subject?


Margaret
 
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