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Thread: Private Thread - Keep Out!

  1. #586
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Why Holmes, how clever of you

    Alimentary my dear Watson - I had a gut feeling......
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  2. #587
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    HaHa, I like it Mike.

    You probably know this.

    The most famous phrase that was never used in Doyle's original works was "Elementary, my dear Watson." This was used in the first sound film to feature the character.


    Margaret

  3. #588
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Eye halve a spilling chequer
    It came with my pea sea
    It plainly marques four my revue
    Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

    Eye strike a key and type a word
    And weight four it two say
    Weather eye am wrong oar write
    It shows me strait a weigh.

    As soon as a mist ache is maid
    It nose bee fore two long
    And eye can put the error rite
    Its rarely ever wrong.

    Eye have run this poem threw it
    I am shore your pleased two no
    Its letter perfect in it's weigh
    My chequer tolled me sew.
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  4. #589
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
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    Mike - wonderful.
    I'm not an atheist and I don't think I can call myself a pantheist. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many different languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does not know how. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn't know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God.
    —Albert Einstein.

  5. #590
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    That is a really clever one Mike.


    Margaret

  6. #591
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    I must confess, a clever copy/paste from another forum.
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  7. #592
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    I knew someone who had a dog that wouldn't stop barking. They took it to the vets and after a few minutes, he gave it a kick. The dog stopped barking. All was well for a few days until it started barking again. My friend gave the dog a kick, but to no avail.

    They took it back to the vet who gave it another kick and it stopped barking.
    "I tried that but it didn't work.", said my friend.





    "Ah", replied the vet, "You're not wearing Hush Puppies".








    (For non UK members, Hush Puppies are a brand of shoe, not sure if they are available outside UK)
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  8. #593
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Hush puppies, haha Mike.


    Margaret

  9. #594
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    John, are you an angler as well? (noticed your use elsewhere of compleat á la Izaak Walton)
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  10. #595
    Commodore con Forza
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    No Mike, I've never angled in my life, but it's true I was thinking of that title.

  11. #596
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Actually those of us that do practice the art usually say "we're gonna drown some worms"
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  12. #597
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    from a discusion on a preserved railway forum today regarding property left on the trains there:

    A baby, (Yes! BABY)



    Seriously! On the luggage rack.On the last arrival of the day at XXXX



    Needless to say it wasn't long before a panic stricken Mum came rushing down
    the platform, just after the baby had been discovered by the person locking
    up the train.



    "I haven't had it very long" was her rather breathless explanation.
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  13. #598
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Haven't had it very long? Not a very good excuse Mike from her. I remember hearing about a man who left a false leg on the train.


    Margaret

  14. #599
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Bet he was hopping mad
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  15. #600
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    How Moses got the 10 commandments.

    God went to the Arabs and said,
    "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."

    The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
    And the Lord said, "They are rules for living.."

    "Can you give us an example?"

    "Thou shall not kill."

    "Not kill? We're not interested."

    So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."

    The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
    "Honor thy Father and Mother."

    "Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."

    Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
    "I have Commandments."

    The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal."

    "Not steal? We're not interested."

    Then He went to the French and said,
    "I have Commandments."

    The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery."

    "Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

    Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
    "I have Commandments."

    "Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"

    "They're free."

    "We'll take 10."

    There, that should offend just about everybody.
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

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