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Thread: Private Thread - Keep Out!

  1. #601
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    You offend Mike? surely not.


    Margaret

  2. #602
    Commodore con Forza
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    There may have been some word association going on in the dark recesses of Mike's brain too. First, talking about an abandoned baby, and then a joke about Moses who was (sort of) abandoned as a baby. Interesting, because I too thought about a different Moses - a lost cat I adopted as a child. My grandfather christened him Moses because we discovered him hiding in the runner beans (we didn't have any bullrushes available).

  3. #603
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Ah John, I see the link now. How nice for you to adopt Moses the cat.


    Margaret

  4. #604
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    [tongue in cheek mode]

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

    The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

    The Scots raised their threat level from "P*ssed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line in the British army for the last 300 years.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."

    It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

    The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

    New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper airplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "[****], I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

    Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!,” "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend," and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
    [/tongue in cheek]

    Runs off to hide .........

    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  5. #605
    Admiral of Fugues Contratrombone64's Avatar
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    mike - very amusing ...
    I'm not an atheist and I don't think I can call myself a pantheist. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many different languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does not know how. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn't know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God.
    —Albert Einstein.

  6. #606
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Don't run and hide Mike, that was really funny.


    If anyone forgets the nations of the world, here is a little reminder.

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xoy2o

  7. #607
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Had a quick browse around that site Margaret, quite enjoyed this

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xoy...-chauffe_music

    Slightly unusual line-up.
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  8. #608
    Admiral Maestoso marval's Avatar
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    Thanks for that Mike, I enjoyed it too, quite different.


    Margaret

  9. #609
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    Another short film from the tube

    Not every short film measures up to the exacting artistic requirements of the Private Thread, but here's one which certainly ticks all the right boxes ...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmfWM0hv-6k

  10. #610
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Might one say that was a load of balls?
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  11. #611
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Mat's Avatar
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    I just wasted 9 minutes of my life...

    And to prove I watched the whole thing - karp is a Polish word and it's used to describe what you call a common carp. Just thought you might not wanted to know.
    Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.
    -- Victor Hugo


  12. #612
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    Well I enjoyed it! The soundtrack was from "Tristan und Isolde", of course. Wagner wrote the libretto for the opera, as well as the music. According to Victor Borge, when he'd finished it, he showed it to his wife, his mistress, his mistress's husband, his future mistress and his future mistress's husband - and they all liked it!

  13. #613
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    The manager of our local filling station is the laziest man I have ever met. When a customer told him that his tyre pressure machine wasn't working, he ignored them. The next day two or three more customers complained, but he ignored them too. And so it went on. It was only after a whole week had passed, and countless further complaints had been received, that he finally realised he would have to do something about the problem. And so, with much moaning and cursing, he finally got off his backside and placed an "Out of Order" sign on the machine.

  14. #614
    Vice Admiral Virtuoso Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v1...cepursuit1.flv

    Nice choice of music on this too, wonder if they ever caught Benny Hill?
    Cheers MIKE.

    How many roads must a man walk down ... ... before he admits he's lost?

  15. #615
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    I hope he's still running in that great TV studio in the sky! I was surprised once to learn who was one of Benny Hill's biggest fans - Charles Chaplin!

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