Private Thread - Keep Out!

marval

New member
So to be English you must say "Sorry, is this the queue?" Finding a non-funny limerick is impossible.

This a limerick which tells you what it is.


A: What is a limerick, Mother?
A: It's a form of verse, said brother
B: In which lines one and two
B: Rhyme with five when it's through
A: And three and four rhyme with each other.


Margaret
 

Dorsetmike

Member
If you dare to Google for Limericks you get just under 900,000 hits, many are just collections of Limericks of varying quality and conmtent, a few sites get a bit more technical, like number of syllables per line (8 or 9 in lines 1,2 and 5, 5 or 6 in lines 3 & 4) and where the accents are placed, and the rhyming pattern as Margaret has shown.
 

jhnbrbr

New member
Well there's certainly something very satisfying about the limerick form. Maybe we should have a limerick day tomorrow when all posts have to be in limerick verse? Here's another form of comic verse which relies on anticipating a rhyme and was a speciality of Frankie Howerd. I wonder if there's a technical name for it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIpkNVL1JNQ

I was inspired to write a verse of my own in this style, about a girl who exposed herself at a rugby match:

A young lady tore off her bra
When the Aussies were playing at Twickers
The police quickly led her away
Before she could take off anything else.
 
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greatcyber

New member
Most of the Limmericks from the book, "The Famous Paris Edition of The Limmerick" are apt of offend most, but there are some that are tame enough to share. Here's one:

There was a young monk from Siberia
Whose morals were very inferior.
He did to a nun
What he shouldn't have done,
And now she's a Mother Superior.

1933-1941
 

marval

New member
Thanks John, good old Frankie Howerd, I liked your verse.


Yours was a funny one too Stephen.


Here is a tribute to To this forum.


There once was a home on the net
A friendlier place you won’t get
With laughter and chatter
On all sorts of matter
It is the best music forum as yet.
 

marval

New member
Thank you Soubasse and Rojo.


There was an old man of the East
Whose manners were just like a beast
Each time he slurped
He gurgled and burped
And declared fish and chips was a feast
 

jhnbrbr

New member
He must have been mad as a hatter
A bit of old cod wrapped in batter?
And thick greasy chips
Which go straight to your hips
No wonder he kept getting fatter!
 

marval

New member
HaHa good one John.

There was an old man from the west
Who had many holes in his vest
He said that the air
Was for the rats living there
But no one was very impressed
 

Dorsetmike

Member
This one has a high EEEEEEUUUUUWWWWWW factor, you have been warned

There was a young man from Australia
Who painted his bum like a Dahlia
5c a smell
was all very well
but 10c a lick was a failure
 

marval

New member
Oh Mike, EEEEEEUUUUUWWWWWW indeed.

There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When they asked him, Why?
He said, with a sigh,
“It’s because I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can.”
 

jhnbrbr

New member
Mike, you've lowered the tone - and that's no small achievement in this thread!

Now don't go bending the rules, Margaret!

This is a continuation of the man who ate too many fish and chips ...

A doctor who saw his exteria
Was seized by a fit of hysteria
"The size of your belly!
It wobbles like jelly!
And what an enormous posteria!"
 
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marval

New member
Sorry John, I forgot there were rules to this thread.

There was a young lady of Cork
Whose pa made a fortune in pork
He bought for his daughter
A tutor who taught her
To balance green peas on her fork
 

Dorsetmike

Member
OK John, see if you approve of this

There was a young fellow named Fisher
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure;
Then a cod, with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in...
Now they're searching the fissure for Fisher.
 

Dorsetmike

Member
Or this?


There was once a choleric Colonel
Whose oaths were obscene and infolonel.
The chaplain aghast,
Gave up protest at last,
But wrote it all down in his jolonel.
 

jhnbrbr

New member
Yes, I love infolonel and jolonel. You wouldn't have a clue what they were if you met them out of context.
 

marval

New member
I like those Mike.


There once was a farmer from leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
It soon came to pass
He was covered with grass
But has all the tomatoes he needs.



Try saying this after a few drinks.


A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned so what could they do
Said the fly let us flee
Let us fly said the flea
So they flew through a flaw in the flue
 
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