Private Thread - Keep Out!

[marval]

Well Mike's flowchart mentioned bacon, so here is the bacon one.

Eating bacon flowchart
[URL="http://static.mmoabc.com/my/P/u/n/ch/2007/12/13//1197585593806.jpg"]


And for your driving test.

Driving test flowchart

[/URL]

 

[rojo]

I suppose that should be a branch after the "NONE" maybe as "ARE YOU SURE?"

"YES" leading to the Are you rich etc?, "NO" leading direct to Agnostic.

OK off you go and redraw ..................

Perfect! Except if I have to be the one to redraw it, then never mind. :lol:

Mmm, bacon...

 

[Dorsetmike]

Halloween special O's and X's

http://stuff.pyzam.com/toys/tictacscare.swf

 

[Mat]

I won.




Był sobie kiedyś chłopak
Który wszystko robił na opak
Nie wiedział, że jest idiotą
Dopóki ktoś nie nazwał go ciotą
Nie wytrzymał, biedny, napięcia i kupił sobie laptopa.

 

[marval]

That made me jump Mike.lol

Well done for winning Mat.


Frankenstein went shopping to see
What the cost of black bats might be.
He wished them to dwell
In his Halloween Bell.
He now has bats in his bell free.

 

[jhnbrbr]

Any chance of a translation Mat? Thanks to you I can swear fluently in Polish, but that's all.

 

[Mat]

I can translate it but it won't rhyme anymore. So, here it goes:

There once was a boy
Who did everything in reverse
He didn't know he was an idiot
Until someone called him a fag
He couldn't, poor guy, stand the tension and he bought himself a laptop.

It sounds way better in Polish...

Thanks to you I can swear fluently in Polish

I take that as a compliment. lol.

 

[Soubasse]

There once was a boy
Who did everything in reverse
He didn't know he was an idiot
Until someone called him a fag
He couldn't, poor guy, stand the tension and he bought himself a laptop.

I love the way that one finishes - that made me laugh:grin:

 

[marval]

I thought it was very good, things always look funny when translated.


Here is a Halloween poem.


HALLOWEEN Magic.


A bald-headed ghost
Drank some witches' brew
And on top of his head
A strange thing grew.

It was pointed and tall
And black as a bat
With stringy long hair
Where his head was flat.

The sad little ghost
Didn't want any hair
Or a black pointed hat
So he said, "Witch beware!"

Then he chanted some words
With a spell-casting switch
And gave Halloween Nght
A Bald-headed witch!

Barbara M. Hales

 

[Mat]

Any chance of a translation Mat?

I have put a huge effort to do it but here it is - a German translation:

Es war einmal ein Junge
Der alles verkehrt gemacht hat
Er hat nicht gewusst, dass er der Idiot war
Solange jemand ihn einem Schwuler bennent hat
Er hat unglücklich keine Spannung vertragt und hat ein Laptop gekauft.

Look at how each verse is little bit longer than previous one. Charming, isn't it?

 

[jhnbrbr]

Yes, the German version looks pretty on the page, but Polish seems to say it with fewest words - perhaps Polish is the most efficient language of the three?

 

[Mat]

Maybe in this particular case. When I do English-Polish translations, the latter usually takes more space.

And the German is probably the least efficient...

 

[jhnbrbr]

Here's an interesting question about languages - which country in the world has the largest number of English-speakers?

 

[Soubasse]

My intial guess was for one of the Asian countries. WikiAnswers simply states "India" albeit with no qualification, then I found this:

... the country with the largest number of English language speakers in the world is…India!

According to linguist David Crystal, India's population passed a billion a couple of years ago, and if you couple this with the fact that a 1997 'India Today' survey suggested that about a third of the population has the ability to carry on a conversation in English you end up with around 350 million English language speakers in India - more than the combined populations of Britain and the United States.

and that came from
http://www.abc.net.au/newsradio/txt/s1363471.htm

So there you go

 

[Dorsetmike]

I suspect most of them work in call centres.

 

[marval]

Well the ones who call me from India, need a little more practice with their English.


A few call centre funnies.

Customer: "I've been ringing your call centre on 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the travel centre."
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours."


RAC Motoring Service

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"
Operator: "Doesn't the product give you a clue?"


Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting
the same error message.”
Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

 

[jhnbrbr]

Well I thought the answer was China, but that was only from something mentioned in passing in a TV drama, so Matt could well be right. Either way, I'm sure most people are surprised to find it's not the USA.

 

[jhnbrbr]

Have you ever suffered from a great vowel shift?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_Y_Z5Ab6y4

 

[rojo]

^ That was interesting; thanks John.

I remember reading Beowulf in college. Too bad I don't remember what it's about, after having put in the effort to read it!

 

[jhnbrbr]

Thanks Rojo.

One thing I've neer understood is how people can claim to know how words were pronounced in the past when there wasn't any recording of sound. Surely it can only be guesswork at best?