The verbosity challenge

Here's something fun ...

take this:

One is unable to impart pedegogic sagacity, with reference to hitherto unknown conjuring displays, to a member of the canine order of mammals, if the said member is of advanced years

and put into simple English.

(You can't teach an old dog new tricks).

Now that you get the idea:

Challenge:

Having a single lower limb protuberance ensconced in a depression in the earth, the purpose of which depression is for the repository of cadavers; and the other limb protuberance placed on a sulphur hued slippery epidermis of a fruit from tropical climes

and put into simple English

One foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin,

HHhhhhmmmmmmmm, not a stable condition.

I like the made up latin tags too such as

Semper in excreta

Nil illegitemae carborundum

Plus one only understood by members of the Royal Air Force, whose motto is

Per ardua ad Astra ................ which we translated as ........ After work we go to the pictures .... (nearly all cinemas on RAF bases were named The Astra)

Here's another one to tackle

One will find it possible to precede a specimen of the genus Equus to a conglomerate of two molecules of hydrogen and one of oxygen, but impossible to enforce absorption of the conglomerate by the aforementioned specimen

Maybe: you can lead a horse to water but you can not make him drink !!THe jackass syndrome

wljmrbill - well done.

Here's another:

The tempo of the structure found attached to the extremity of the ulna is in converse proportion to that of the ocular organ

Prestidigitation, .......... or ............... The quickness of the hand deceives the eye,

Ah Mike - you're a cunning linguist ...

The methodological procedure of the location of the cardiological epicentre of a mature homo sapiens, of the male gender, will be realised by traversing the expandable sac with victual processing properties that is ensconsed therein

This brings up the matter of government "bureacratese". Leaves one wondering who spends so much time obfuscating the obvious.

And, what is an auditorium for? Well, to go hear something. The stem "audi-" is a direct descendent of Latin "audire", to hear, for which you make use of your auditory nerves.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach?

Well done!

Slightly more challenging:

A loop, created by the piercing of fabric by a very thin eyed straight metallic structure, within that continued existence measured by the observation of the movements of a cogged machine (sychronised with those of the celestial bodies), delivers from misfortune that numerical quantity calculated by squaring a trinity

Come on Marvel? jhnbrbr?? dorset???

a stich in time saves nine....(maybe a long shot )

Sorry, missed the original CT, have to agree with Bill.

Yes, sorry Sir, we weren't paying attention in class! Sure Bill is right though.

Sorry CT, not sure I am very good at this, but here goes.


You will not have the capacity to do the following. Take a pig’s appendage used for the listening of sounds, change its shape and size and the material it is made of, and take a cotton strip. Put it through a hole in a piece of metal, and close three sides. On the fourth side, add a fastening device, and you will have a receptacle for your finances.


Margaret

can't make a silk purse out of a pigs ear.....

Well done Bill.


Margaret

They are the smallest of things really, that all bend to a 45 degree angle. They are always found in sets of pairs, in this case there are 3 pairs to each creature. These little creatures have an important relationship with flowers. So, now assuming you've figured out what this appendage is called then it's use as a phrase often indicates the very best of the best.

I'm relying in the brilliantly perceptive Margaret (marval) to be the first to get this.

It's the bees' knees?