Corno Dolce
Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
Definition of a Spinster: A woman who has missed her opportunity to make a man miserable.
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter pnoom
- Start date
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
Mat, Miss Margaret and now Corno Dolce too
I don´t know where you guys get all these extended hilarius jokes from. You must have access to sites, where there are nothing but jokes. You´re AWESOME :lol::lol::lol::lol:
However my great friends, just a warning!! Not from me, but from the danish coffee shops, where sails lately have decreased. I awoke this morning at 03:00. Normaly I would turn on the coffee machine as the first thing at all. But not anymore. The past days having my own stomach to rebillion against me, my first thought has been - Check in at the The Jokes Thread.
Sitting here now at 04:25 in the early AM, I realise that I still haven´t turned on the coffee machine. So this is a compliment for you guys, unfortunately not shared by the decreasing Danish Coofee shops.
But then who cares? Keep `em coming guys, you have at least one believer :tiphat::tiphat::clap::clap::banana::banana: ROFL
I don´t know where you guys get all these extended hilarius jokes from. You must have access to sites, where there are nothing but jokes. You´re AWESOME :lol::lol::lol::lol:
However my great friends, just a warning!! Not from me, but from the danish coffee shops, where sails lately have decreased. I awoke this morning at 03:00. Normaly I would turn on the coffee machine as the first thing at all. But not anymore. The past days having my own stomach to rebillion against me, my first thought has been - Check in at the The Jokes Thread.
Sitting here now at 04:25 in the early AM, I realise that I still haven´t turned on the coffee machine. So this is a compliment for you guys, unfortunately not shared by the decreasing Danish Coofee shops.
But then who cares? Keep `em coming guys, you have at least one believer :tiphat::tiphat::clap::clap::banana::banana: ROFL
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Contratrombone64
Admiral of Fugues
sails have decreased ... you need wind in that case ....
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
CT64, another early riser.
Some comedians can joke only using 9 words. Hats off :lol::lol::lol::lol::tiphat::tiphat::tiphat::tiphat:
Contratrombone64
Admiral of Fugues
I shouldn't have posted that intet - "bite me" - as I know a little Danish, however, my Danish is very, very basic. Unlike your English, which is marvellous.
Corno Dolce
Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
Hello Dear Intet,
I myself have had the misfortune of crossing paths with a Spinster - And she knows all too well how to make a man's life miserable - How do I know? My fiancee introduced me to her cousin a few months ago and said to me: "This is my Spinster cousin - a qualified man-hater and man-eater.
Funny thing though, her cousin has a good job, a post-graduate diploma, a wonderful homelife as a child with doting parents, and a swanky New York apartment. In short, she has everything but a good attitude. My gal said that her cousin is also a conceited, self-centered, spoiled brat. Is it any wonder then that she herself is the cause of her own misery.
Cheers,
CD
I myself have had the misfortune of crossing paths with a Spinster - And she knows all too well how to make a man's life miserable - How do I know? My fiancee introduced me to her cousin a few months ago and said to me: "This is my Spinster cousin - a qualified man-hater and man-eater.
Funny thing though, her cousin has a good job, a post-graduate diploma, a wonderful homelife as a child with doting parents, and a swanky New York apartment. In short, she has everything but a good attitude. My gal said that her cousin is also a conceited, self-centered, spoiled brat. Is it any wonder then that she herself is the cause of her own misery.
Cheers,
CD
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
CT64
But you´re wrong. You should and you did post the joke - a bit bity. Btw. My written english is worse, than I remember it used to be in 1999. At that time, I spoke and wrote English every day, because my profession demanded it. However, honestly between you and me. When you´ve experienced a scenario like mine having had my life stolen as to what it was post 1999, and you end up looking in childrens books at images of a duck, a car, a house, a ship while your pedagog trying to recreate your abilty to speak my own language Danish, the ability to read and write it too, so you don´t have for anyone around to read from a newspaper, put food in your mouth, change diapers, then you change in a way you would never have thought about before. You become grateful for all the laughs you may achieve, if lucky?
So before I leave you with another one of these typical for me brick novels in a post, being so proud and grateful to the Lord for saving my life and years of desperate frustration about how slow everything have been for more than 5 years to regain my ability of speech, reading and writing back - not the way it used to be, it´ll never be, but who cares? One of the things I found most disencouraging was, how people around you disrespect you, when you can´t speak the language, how easy you lose any authority, for just being you, when you don´t have the ability to understand what people tell you or reply.
So when a friendly regular on the MIMF like yourself CT64, jokes about my post and my English writings, and I read it early in the morning, laughing out loud behind the PC, then you actually supported my new ability in life - to laugh at myself. Because you hit the head on the nail.
Beside this, I don´t wish to end up as an 85 year old grumpy male, regretting all the things in life I did not do, because I was afraid of being laughed at, sitting in my now rockin chair.
Beside this non of us got hurt :lol::lol::lol::lol:
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intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
Hello Dear Intet,
I myself have had the misfortune of crossing paths with a Spinster - And she knows all too well how to make a man's life miserable - How do I know? My fiancee introduced me to her cousin a few months ago and said to me: "This is my Spinster cousin - a qualified man-hater and man-eater.
Funny thing though, her cousin has a good job, a post-graduate diploma, a wonderful homelife as a child with doting parents, and a swanky New York apartment. In short, she has everything but a good attitude. My gal said that her cousin is also a conceited, self-centered, spoiled brat. Is it any wonder then that she herself is the cause of her own misery.
Cheers,
CD
You know Corno Dolce - Spinster is an odd word for a woman
One of the great discoveries and pleasures, I found in life, as you very well know - are women in all forms, shapes, colours etc. etc.. I love them as women as equal human beings, but different to men. Having this favoured interest of mine, I believe you´re one lucky soul, well deserved however.
Did it ever cross your mind? Perhaps your fiance and wife to be in love forever more, told you - by showing her cousin to you with a "buisness card" which almost do not alowe having friends - How lucky you are :lol::lol::lol::lol: with your fiance?
We both know The Lord works in mysterious ways. But with women the word "mystery" has no limits or definition, it´s beyond everything known to the male gender. A former french friend of mine years ago said: I haven´t met a woman yet, who couldn´t whirl any man she pleased around her finger, using female most sensual inspirering tricks.
So your unfortunate experience with this female Spinster, who could ruin any sane man out of his wits, turned out to be good for you my friend. Now knowing better than ever how lucky you are having joined up with the woman of your dreams, the woman you love and knowing for the rest of your natural life what a true female spinster looks like
Whether The Lord pulled it, or it was simply women tactics? :lol::lol::lol::lol:
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marval
New member
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
" You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's comming to you."
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
" You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's comming to you."
Corno Dolce
Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
Hello Intet,
Praise the Lord that God made women different from men. The world would be such a boring place without them.
Cheers,
CD
Praise the Lord that God made women different from men. The world would be such a boring place without them.
Cheers,
CD
Corno Dolce
Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
Hi Ms. Margaret,
I usually tell jokes about blondes since I am blonde - passive self-deprecation I call it - its the way I pinch myself to remind me to not take myself too seriously. Are you also blonde?
Cheers :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
CD
I usually tell jokes about blondes since I am blonde - passive self-deprecation I call it - its the way I pinch myself to remind me to not take myself too seriously. Are you also blonde?
Cheers :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
CD
Corno Dolce
Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
Hi Ms. Margaret,
Don't worry my dear - You keep me in stitches :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Your devoted forum friend,
CD
Don't worry my dear - You keep me in stitches :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Your devoted forum friend,
CD
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
Hello Intet,
Praise the Lord that God made women different from men. The world would be such a boring place without them.
Cheers,
CD
Corno Dolce
To be honest about your reply and how lucky we as males are. You and I as gents would never have lived if God had not invented women to accompany the stronger sex. Scary thought, eh? Just think of what this world would have missed? :lol::lol::lol::lol: And worse, who were we going to impress then wearing bathing suits on any beach around the planet ? :lol::lol::lol::lol:
marval
New member
Just so people don't think that I have a thing against blondes.
The confused redhead.
Took her new scarf back to the store
Because it was too tight.
Couldn't learn to water ski
Because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Can't work in a pharmacy
Because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six weeks
The box said 2-4 years.
Was trapped on an escalator for hours
When the power went out.
When asked what the capital of California was
She answered C.
Baked a turkey for three days
Because the instructions said one hour per pound, she weighed 125.
Got hurt while raking the leaves
She fell out of the tree.
Hated M&Ms
Because they were so hard to peel.
Change the baby's diaper only once a month
Because the label read up to 20 pounds.
The confused redhead.
Took her new scarf back to the store
Because it was too tight.
Couldn't learn to water ski
Because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Can't work in a pharmacy
Because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six weeks
The box said 2-4 years.
Was trapped on an escalator for hours
When the power went out.
When asked what the capital of California was
She answered C.
Baked a turkey for three days
Because the instructions said one hour per pound, she weighed 125.
Got hurt while raking the leaves
She fell out of the tree.
Hated M&Ms
Because they were so hard to peel.
Change the baby's diaper only once a month
Because the label read up to 20 pounds.
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intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
CT64
The joke :lol::lol::clap::clap::tiphat::tiphat::banghead::banghead: obviously for this Danish hammerhead, what seems to be cleared only between the two of us - sails need wind, the "i" makes all the difference in the world towards sales.
My mistake, but you caught it Sherlock :tiphat::tiphat::clap::clap::lol::lol:
Thank you, Margaret.
Cake? Cake? This sounds great. Yey. I like cake
:grin:The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?"
The guy answers, "A scotch, please."
The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars,"
The guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this."
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."
The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again."
The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!"
The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!"
The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double."
To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch."
Corno Dolce
Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
Hi Intet,
Who is the stronger sex? Methinks the women are. Why? They are the ones tasked with carrying a pregnancy for nine months!!! They need to be tough as an M1 Abrams Tank to succeed in child-bearing. Our Good Lord made them stronger and more different than us men. We guys are just made to believe that we are the stronger of the two.
Cheers,
CD
Who is the stronger sex? Methinks the women are. Why? They are the ones tasked with carrying a pregnancy for nine months!!! They need to be tough as an M1 Abrams Tank to succeed in child-bearing. Our Good Lord made them stronger and more different than us men. We guys are just made to believe that we are the stronger of the two.
Cheers,
CD