Dorsetmike
Member
Did you hear about the taxidermist who mounted the pavement?
Private Thread - Keep Out!
- Thread starter jhnbrbr
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Did you hear about the taxidermist who mounted the pavement?
marval
New member
I am certain I couldn't say that job title with a straight face John. Last one you promise, do you mean that?
Mounted the pavement, good one Mike.
Did you hear about the woman she became a telephone operator because it was her calling.
And the prospector who gave up, beacuse he didn't think his career would pan out.
I wanted to be a fisherman for the halibut, but I floundered. I couldn't live off my net income.
Mind you being an artist is alright beacuse they can always draw the crowd.
But the poor old shepherd after he retired felt ewes less.
Margaret
Mounted the pavement, good one Mike.
Did you hear about the woman she became a telephone operator because it was her calling.
And the prospector who gave up, beacuse he didn't think his career would pan out.
I wanted to be a fisherman for the halibut, but I floundered. I couldn't live off my net income.
Mind you being an artist is alright beacuse they can always draw the crowd.
But the poor old shepherd after he retired felt ewes less.
Margaret
Dorsetmike
Member
Today I found pleasure in a work by Ludovici Einnaudi, the sheer relief at the end, being able to say thank **** that's finished.
I was on the other side of the room doing a jigsaw, the announcer said it was from a new album, so as I didn't have the remote handy I let it continue (lazy fool that I am) I didn't notice any difference from any of his other efforts apart from him having conned a violin and cello to join him.
I would have thought by now he might have learned how to use musical notes to make a tune, but no such luck, the same repetitive tinkling. What amazes me most is that some people actually pay money for his CDs and concerts.
As a matter of interest has anybody other than Ludo himself ever recorded (or even played) any of his "work" apart from the violinn and cello mentioned?
I place his talent on about the same level as the bloke who convinced the art world that a pile of bricks was art. Mind you I still think Picasso could have used some lessons in painting. Label anything aspiring to be artistic as modern and some crowd of wannabes will fight to buy it.
Discuss
I was on the other side of the room doing a jigsaw, the announcer said it was from a new album, so as I didn't have the remote handy I let it continue (lazy fool that I am) I didn't notice any difference from any of his other efforts apart from him having conned a violin and cello to join him.
I would have thought by now he might have learned how to use musical notes to make a tune, but no such luck, the same repetitive tinkling. What amazes me most is that some people actually pay money for his CDs and concerts.
As a matter of interest has anybody other than Ludo himself ever recorded (or even played) any of his "work" apart from the violinn and cello mentioned?
I place his talent on about the same level as the bloke who convinced the art world that a pile of bricks was art. Mind you I still think Picasso could have used some lessons in painting. Label anything aspiring to be artistic as modern and some crowd of wannabes will fight to buy it.
Discuss
jhnbrbr
New member
Mike, not being familiar with Einaudi, you forced me to search some out and listen to it. I have to say I agree with you one hundred percent - the four pieces I found on youtube were bland in the extreme, almost oppressive. Lots of people seem to love it and buy it by the lorry load - are we missing something? To me it seemed like 5 seconds worth of material spread very thinly indeed to fill up 5 minutes. Now I need some Bach to flush the poison out of my system ...
Soubasse
New member
Never mind long stories - short ones also have their merit. This just arrived in my inbox at work.
A college class was told that they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. Their instructions were that the short story had to contain the following three things:
1) Religion
2) Sexuality
3) Mystery
Below is the only story in the whole class to score an A+
"Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it?"
Dorsetmike
Member
John, I just knew we were kindred spirits. In addition to Bach, do you also find frequent doses of Couperin, Purcell, Rameau and other contemporaries of theirs can also be beneficial?
marval
New member
Ah thank you John for solving the mystery. I shall be able to sleep easy tonight.
By the way they have found out who is doing the crop circles, it is a cereal killer.
And today's bit of nonsence.
To be is to do – Socrates, To do is to be – Sartre, Do be do be do – Sinatra
Margaret
By the way they have found out who is doing the crop circles, it is a cereal killer.
And today's bit of nonsence.
To be is to do – Socrates, To do is to be – Sartre, Do be do be do – Sinatra
Margaret
Dorsetmike
Member
Wish I could get to sleep, the noise these bluddy sheep make all night ..............
jhnbrbr
New member
Having fun with sheep
There's lots of ways you can have fun with sheep - and not all of them are disgusting. There used to be a prank popular with students of turfing someone's room and putting sheep in it. Such harmless fun! And then my grandfather (yes, the same grandfather who tried to kill me with a radioactive watch (not to be confused with my great grandfather (who was himself killed by a horse))) (do you like the way I'm using nested brackets (I always liked algebra at school)?) told me how he and his friends used to amuse themselves by driving a flock of sheep through a narrow opening. One would hold a stick across the opening, so the first sheep had to jump over it. Then the stick was removed, but every other sheep would still jump over the imaginary stick, because each sheep copied the one in front. Remember they didn't have television in those days (no, not the sheep - my grandad and his chums!)
There's lots of ways you can have fun with sheep - and not all of them are disgusting. There used to be a prank popular with students of turfing someone's room and putting sheep in it. Such harmless fun! And then my grandfather (yes, the same grandfather who tried to kill me with a radioactive watch (not to be confused with my great grandfather (who was himself killed by a horse))) (do you like the way I'm using nested brackets (I always liked algebra at school)?) told me how he and his friends used to amuse themselves by driving a flock of sheep through a narrow opening. One would hold a stick across the opening, so the first sheep had to jump over it. Then the stick was removed, but every other sheep would still jump over the imaginary stick, because each sheep copied the one in front. Remember they didn't have television in those days (no, not the sheep - my grandad and his chums!)
Dorsetmike
Member
Nah I think rhat was because the abbattoir burnt down.
marval
New member
Well it is no wonder you can't sleep Mike. It seems like sheep do have their uses.
SHEPHERD WISDOM
Two shepherds were leaning on their staffs at the end of a long hard day of shepherding. The first asked the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replies, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Now a sheep warning.
Two shepherds were leaning on their staffs at the end of a long hard day of shepherding. The first asked the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replies, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Now a sheep warning.
jhnbrbr
New member
Test your mathematical knowledge
What is the name of this symbol?
View attachment 1238
(Scroll down to see answer)
(keep going)
Shepherd's pi.
What is the name of this symbol?
View attachment 1238
(Scroll down to see answer)
(keep going)
Shepherd's pi.
Dorsetmike
Member
I bought 8 legs of Venison for £200, would that be two deer?
