Cooking with Jhnbrbr
You don't have to give up good food just because there's a recession. This traditional favourite is tasty and highly nutritious - but you'd be hard pressed to find anything more economical!
WHAT YOU WILL NEED:
800g mashed potato (for variety, mashed swede/parsnip may also be used)
2 tins Tesco "Value" chopped tomatoes
3 large cooking onions
Stock cube
Seasoning & herbs to taste
Land Rover or other 4WD vehicle
12-bore shotgun (preferably double-barrelled)
Length of stout timber
Body bag
Butcher's bandsaw
Industrial mincing machine
METHOD
By mingling inconspicuously in shops and pubs, attempt to ascertain where the farmers' flocks are grazing. Get one of the locals to draw you a map if possible. Load your equipment into the 4WD and head for the hills. After parking 2-300 metres from the site, make the final approach on foot, approaching from down-wind to avoid detection, especially if dogs are present, or your personal hygiene isn't all that it might be. Once you have located the flock, you will find what you are looking for sitting on a grassy hillock a few metres away. If you are fortunate enough to be presented with a choice of targets, remember that the younger ones yield the most succulent meat. Take careful aim, then squeeze the trigger very slowly and smoothly. If a clean kill is not achieved, despatch using the length of timber.
Well that's all for now folks. I'll complete this recipe for Shepherds Pie tomorrow.